The Phoenix And The Lamb - Chapter 2

It had been about a week since Joe had first been called to Selen's apartment. And needless to say, he was still not feeling very good about it. He had been struggling to sleep properly the whole week.

He did use some of the money Selen gave him to buy some of the medication he needed. But he didn't really feel good about it. Actually using that money made him feel so dirty. But... The money he was getting by his usual means didn't quite cover it this time. So his options were either using Selen's money or risking his health. As much as he hated the arrangement he was forced into, he'd still rather stay alive than die because of his pride.

He had hoped Yasu, Hacchin and Sojun wouldn't see anything wrong with him. If he could hide his discomfort, then they wouldn't worry about him and wouldn't ask any questions.

But it seemed he wasn't so lucky. When they were practicing at the studio, he was feeling so tense that he had messed up a lot more than usual. He couldn't help but think about what could happen to their band if he let his deal with Selen slip. And it resulted in him not moving his hands as fast as he should.

Once he had messed up enough for the others to be able to tell something was up, Yasu asked for a break.

"What's wrong with you today?" Sojun asked, hitting Joe in the head with one of his drumsticks.

"N-nothing." Joe said, wanting to punch himself for stuttering.

"Don't lie to our faces!" Hacchin stomped his foot as he glared at him. "You aren't usually this tense. So spill it!"

"I swear it's nothing much. I'm just... Not feeling so good today..."

Hacchin sighed. "Guess we can't do much about it if your health is acting up."

"Sorry..."

"You don't need to apologise." Yasu said as he handed Joe a water bottle and then smiled. "You might feel better after a break."

Joe thanked him before drinking some of the water. He was glad that they weren't asking too many questions. But he also still felt a hint of that guilt that was haunting him.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and his heart forgot how to beat for a second. But he took a deep breath before checking. Even if it was what he feared, it would still be better to remain as calm as possible.

He checked his phone and it was, unfortunately, exactly what he feared. It was a message from Selen, just asking him to come over again that night. Nothing more, nothing less.

Joe immediately put his phone in his pocket again, drinking more water to try and distract himself from how sick he felt.

"You look worse now. What was that?" Yasu asked, coming closer to him.

"I-it's nothing! It's... Personal..." It wasn't technically a lie, but it still hurt him to say it.

"Oh... I see..." Yasu stepped back, looking away from him. His expression was hard to read, but he looked a bit... Hurt?

Noticing the awkward silence, Sojun cleared his throat. "I guess you can just rest for today while we practice. You're clearly not looking any better."

"N-no! I'll give it one more try. Just let me warm up a bit more before starting. If I screw up too much I'll step back."

Sojun sighed. "If that's what you want. Don't push yourself too hard, okay?"

Joe nodded, then proceeded to finish what was left of the water bottle.

Luckily, he did manage to concentrate more after their break was over. He didn't know how he did it, but he didn't want to think about it at all.

Joe was very nervous once practice was over. But he only really let himself think about it once he was far away enough from the other three.

He took his phone, opening the conversation he was having with Selen. His hands trembled a little as he typed 'I'm on my way'. He hit send, immediately putting his phone away as he headed for the subway.

Once he had arrived in front of Selen's building, he could feel his throat closing up from the nervousness. But he simply took another deep breath and went to ring up his apartment number. His hands still trembled as he typed in the numbers... But he managed to keep his voice from cracking. He felt glad about that. He'd rather hide his fear from Selen as much as possible.

After taking the elevator, he found himself at Selen's front door. One more deep breath, and he knocked on the door.

Selen didn't take long to open it. He invited Joe in with a smile. It would have perhaps seemed genuine if it wasn't for the context. But seeing it only made Joe feel sick to the stomach. However, he swallowed back the urge to vomit.

"I have some tea ready. Would you like some?" Selen asked as he guided Joe into his kitchen.

Joe remained silent, glaring at him as he shook his head.

Selen pouted as he served tea only to himself. "Geez don't look at me like that." He then smiled again. "How have you been? Have you been eating properly? How is your health?"

Joe's face heated up from anger. He wanted Joe to thank him for helping him pay for what he needed, didn't he? But Joe wasn't gonna give him that satisfaction. "It's none of your business."

"I want to know either way."

Joe didn't reply to that.

"Let me guess... Are you trying to not use the money I gave you?"

Joe's eyes widened. Now, his silence was out of shock rather than anger.

"It's yours now. Use it however you see fit. I don't care what you use it for. But not using it at all is a waste of our deal."

Joe's lips were sealed. He hated this. He hated that the money Selen had given him truly could help him. He hated what he was forced to do in exchange for it. He hated this twisted deal...

Selen drank what was left of his tea and sighed. "I see I won't get you talking." He stood up, walking towards Joe. He held his arm. "Let's go, then. It's better use of our time."

And so he guided Joe into the bedroom.

Selen stood in front of the bed with a smile, and then started undoing his own pants. Once his pants and underwear were off, he sat on the bed. "Come over here and get on your knees."

Joe swallowed, quietly took a deep breath and then did as he was told.

Selen grabbed his cock, pumping it until he was hardened. He grabbed Joe's hair with his other hand, pulling him closer. "Lick."

Joe closed his eyes and stuck his tongue out. He gave Selen's cock a long lick from the base to the very tip, fighting back the urge to vomit. He tried to think about somebody, something, anything else. Perhaps then he'd be able to tolerate it for long enough.

He tries even harder to drive his thoughts away from his own body when Selen instructs him to suck him. He doesn't care that he is sloppy when he bobs his head, although Selen seems to enjoy that. He just wants it to be over.

He just wants to leave.

Selen holds his head in place as he cums, not letting Joe take pull away as the bitter taste fills his mouth. He wants to spit it out.

"Swallow." Selen orders.

Joe closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He swallows as quickly as he can, hoping that way he will have to tolerate the taste for a shorter amount of time.

Selen lets go of him entirely. Joe turns his face away from him. He wishes he could spit on his face. He wishes he could vomit. But he imagines Selen wouldn't be very happy about it if he did that.

Selen pats his head, with a smirk on his face. "Good boy. Did you like it too?"

Joe just remains silent, refusing to look up at him. He hates the way his cheeks are burning, he hates how tight his pants feel...

"I'm satisfied for today, but I'm not entirely selfish, you know?" Selen chuckled, using his foot to caress Joe's crotch. "If you need some relief, I'll give it to you."

Joe doesn't respond.

It does sound like a tempting offer for a few seconds. But ultimately he chooses to listen to his head rather than his cock. He can satisfy himself in other ways. He doesn't need this. He shakes his head.

Selen pouts. "Well, fine then." He grabs his wallet and gives Joe some money. Roughly the same amount as he had given him the previous time.

He guided Joe to the front door of the apartment. Joe was quiet the entire time, barely even looking at him. Selen waved at him with a smile as he left. "See you next time!"

Joe sighed a breath of relief once he was back home. He had no idea when Selen was gonna be calling him again. Maybe it was gonna be a weekly thing? Regardless, he was glad he wouldn't have likelt to deal with it for a while.

There was one problem, though... He was still turnes on. It wasn't enough for him to have an apparent hard-on, but he could still feel it...

He went to his bedroom and sat down on his bed before pulling down his pants and underwear.

He wrapped his hand around his cock and started pumping himself. The feeling of finally getting some relief made him gasp and throw his head back.

He tried so hard not to think about Selen. And yet, he seemed to refuse to leave his head...

Joe groaned as he stopped his hand. Why did his own head have to do that to him? Why did it have to keep thinking about what he could have done if he had accepted Selen's offer to satisfy himself with him?

But, maybe... Just thinking about it wouldn't be so bad, right?

He remembers the first time Selen had called him. He remembers how he had enjoyed it when Joe trusted his hips into him. Joe wonders how he would react if he were to be even more rough. Would he still enjoy it as much as he had the last time? How much would it take to make him break?

He imagines Selen under him, laying on his stomach as Joe trusts into him hard and fast. He imagines Selen moaning and gasping, out of breath and barely even able to think due to the sensations. Perhaps he'd even have little tears forming in his eyes.

Joe instinctively bites his lip and groans as he cums. He remembers how it felt to cum inside Selen, so tight and warm...

After catching his breath, he finally felt calmer. He still felt guilty about what he had fantasized about, but he simply decided to clean up the cum that had fallen on the floor in order to distract himself. The less he thought about it, the less he would have to feel that guilt and disgust.