Meow Meow Meow Meow-ow: Love!
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Summary:
A stray cat walks around Binan High in a search for food and attention.
Characters: Pretty much all of the main boys, original cat character
Ship: Beppu Haruhiko/Yufuin En, Beppu Akihiko/Zaou Ryuu, Hakone Yumoto/Naruko Io, Arima Ibushi/Rabuko (all treated as crackships)
General info: POV First Person. Crackfic written simply because one night I thought "hmm boueibu needs more crackfics". This fic was 100% approved by my own cats (jk).
Wordcount: 2.066
Date: August 14th, 2022
Rating: General audiences
Warnings: None
Me is a cat, nya. Humans say "cat!" whenever they see me for the first time, nya. That is how me knows me is a cat, nya.
Me is hungry now, nya. So me go to place where many humans are gathered all the time to shout at them until one of them gives me food, nya.
The sun is at the center of the sky now, nya. So humans should be carrying food around at this point, nya.
I see two humans up ahead, meow. I walk up to them and start talking, nya.
"Humans, me is hungry, nya! Please feed me, nya!" I tell them politely, nya.
"Huh, where did this cat come from?"
"You've never seen it, Yufuin-san?"
The first one shakes his head, nya.
Why are they not feeding me, nya? Me can smell food from within their carriers made of cloth, and their hands, nya! No other choice but to shout and exaggerate, meow! "HUMANS, PLEASE FEED ME, miau! I AM STARVING, NYA!"
"I've seen it around town sometimes. It woke me and Aki up from meowing so much at some birds on top of our house one night. But I've never seen it at school."
"Oh, so you're Haru."
The second human chuckles, nya. "Yes. It is hard to tell us apart."
"HUMANS, QUIT TALKING, NYA! I NEED FOOD NOW, NYA!" Me shouts again, nya. If this doesn't work, me is just gonna look for other humans, nya!
"It sure never shuts up, huh? If you're hungry, here." The first human is finally breaking the clear material around his food, meow! "Yakisoba bread should be safe for it as long as I give only the bread, right?"
They break a part of his food, but only the part that's dry and fluffy instead of the gooey worms with something that reminds me of mud, nya. And they set it down in front of me, nya! Time to eat, nya!!!
Me eats the food, nya! It not as good as the wet food the nice human behind the magic see-through doors that open on their own gives me, nya. But it still food, nya!
Me not care anymore about the humans until me is done with food, nya.
"You really were hungry, huh?" The first human brings his big furless paw towards me, meow.
They scratched my neck, nya. It feels nice, so me lean into his paw and start purring, miau.
The human chuckles, nya. "You're welcome, kitty."
The other human crouches beside me, nya. They start patting my head as well, nya.
Me bite his hand lightly, nya! Me don't want them getting too friendly with me, nya!
"Hey, what's this for!?" The human complains, meow. But me ignore them, nya.
Me walk forward and start rubbing my back onto the first human's legs, nya. Me then rub my head and neck on the second one's legs, nya.
They get silent and lock eyes, nya. Then, their faces turn a bit redder, nya.
"I'm just noticing, but… You're pretty good looking, aren't you?" The first one winks at the other, nya.
The second human chokes, nya. "S-senpai-!"
They clearly don't care about me anymore, meow. So me walk away to look for something more interesting to do, nya!
Me walk around until me find a place full of plants, nya. Me find an interesting leaf, miau! Me starts to play with it, nya!
"How did you get here?" Says a human who looks almost identical to one of the other humans me saw before, nya.
"Huh? A cat?" Another human shows up, nya. This one has pink hair, nya.
"It has bothered me and Haru the other night. It's not the first time I've seen it."
"So you're a stray, buddy?" The pink haired human pokes my behind, meow. "Is that leaf really that interesting?"
Me get distracted from leaf because of human. Me rub my head on his paw, nya. This is where he should be petting, nya! Stop petting my butt, nya!
The second human offers his paw to pat me too, nya. So me rub my head on his paw, nya!
The humans lock eyes and turn red, nya. They both look shocked, nya.
"H-hey, Aki…" The pink haired human speaks, meow. "Would you… Like to go out for c-coffee sometime?"
"R-Ryuu!?" The other human chokes, nya. "I-I mean… I-I guess I wouldn't mind."
The humans don't care about me again, nya. Why does this keep happening, nya!? Me leave to look for humans who will actually care about me, miau!
Me get inside big building, nya. There are many stairs, nya. But me reach the end of the stairs, nya. There is an open door and me walk into that room, meow.
Me hear some humans talking inside the room, nya.
"And that is why NFTs might be a tempting investment. But I don't think they're all that profitable in the long run." One of the humans says, nya.
There is a moment of silence, nya. Me is just looking around the room, nya.
"I still don't understand any of this, Io-senpai." A blond human says, nya.
A human with glasses sighs, nya. "I don't think I understand any more than Yumoto does."
"Chances are, the people who bought those NFTs understand about as much as you."
This conversation is boring, nya. "Humans, stop talking about human nonsense, meow! You should pay attention to me instead, nya!"
The humans look in my direction, nya.
"Where did this cat come from?" The human with glasses asks, nya.
"Aww! So cute!" The blonde human runs towards me, nya. "Are you lost? Are you hungry?"
"My home is wherever I am, miau! I have eaten already, nya! I just want attention now, nya!" Me responds happily, meow.
Me smell something very gross coming from the stairs, nya. Me turn around and hiss at the smell, nya!
A human carrying a pink creature comes up the stairs, nya. Me think that creature is where the awful smell is coming from, nya.
"Oh? What is with this animal?" The pink creature asks, nya.
"Why are you so stinky, nya!?" Me hiss.
"Why are you so upset at me!?"
"I don't really judge it for thinking you're weird." The smart-sounding human says, nya.
"I'm not weird!" The pink creature jumps and lands on the floor in front of that human, meow. The human who was carrying it falls on their back, nya. I get startled and run away to the closest corner, nya!
"Look, you startled it!" The blond human says, nya.
"I didn't do anything!" The pink creature complains, nya.
"Let's just help the cat, okay?" The smart-sounding human says, nya.
The human slowly comes towards me in between the wall and a bookshelf, miau. Me is nervous and not want to be bothered, nya! So me slap their paw, meow!
"Ouch!"
"Are you okay, Io!?" The human with glasses asks, nya.
"I'm fine. It's just a light scratch."
"Hey, buddy. We just wanna help you." The blond human comes near me, nya.
"Leave me alone, nya!" Me hiss, slapping the blond human's paw, nya!
"Ouch!"
"Maybe it's better to leave that cat alone for a moment…" The human with glasses says, nya.
The smart and blond human look at each other, nya. Their faces turn red, nya.
The blond human runs to the smart human and hugs them, meow! "Io-senpai! I don't know why, but I really wanna hug you! I feel like I could hug you every day!"
"Yumoto!" The smart human exclaims, nya. "Let's get married!"
"Married?"
"Yes! I have just realised it would be financially beneficial for the both of us!"
"If we get married, can I hug you every day?"
"Of course!"
"Then let's get married!"
"What the hell is going on!?" The human with glasses asks, nya.
"That cat! It somehow has the power of the god of love!" The pink creature says, nya.
"That doesn't even make sense! How do we even fix this!?"
"Fix it? Why would love need fixing?"
The human with glasses is silent, nya. But they look like they could explode, nya.
Another door in the room opens, nya. A human with white hair walks in, miau. "What's with all this noise in here?" They look at the two humans who are hugging, nya. "What happened here!?"
"The workings of the God of Love!"
"Kin-chan… Please help me…"
Two other humans show up, meow.
"Since when are you two that close!?" A human with long hair asks, nya.
"They aren't…" The human with glasses says in a hoarse voice, nya. They look as white as the pretty birds I saw on top of a big house the other night, nya.
"Oh, what are you doing here, buddy?" A tall human with brown fur asks me, nya. They approach me slowly, and then offer me some treats, nya. Me is careful at first, nya. But after smelling the treat, me eats it up nya.
"You know that cat, Ibushi?" The human with glasses asks, meow.
"I feed the stray animals around town sometimes. I've seen this one around quite a lot." The human who gave me a treat offers me their paw, nya. And me accept his patting, nya. "If it's causing trouble, I can keep an eye on it and take it out of the school later."
"Please do." The human with glasses said, nya. "And I'd say to be careful with it. Those two got like that right after getting in contact with it."
"If that's the case, I'll make sure it stays in the student council room until classes are over." The nice human smile at me and me lean onto their hand even more, nya.
The kind human takes me to the other room, nya. There's a lot of white stuff in the room, nya.
But, after the humans leave, there's nothing to do there, miau. The humans hid all the stuff that would be fun to knock to the floor, nya. So me sleep on the couch, meow.
The kind human wakes me up, nya. "Let's get you out of the school before you cause any more trouble, okay?"
The human picks me up, nya. Me not run away because they pick me up nicely and I like them, nya.
The human carries me to outside the building, nya. As we walk around the city, the human stops at the fish store, nya. For whatever reason, this fish store has a picture of a fake human, nya. The fake human shows a lot of skin and has brown fur on top of their head, nya. For whatever reason, everytime me come here there is a real human hugging that fake human at one point, meow.
"Would you like some fish?" The kind human asks, nya.
"Of course, nya!" Me says, nya.
The human chuckles and sets me down, nya. The human then goes into the fish store and starts talking to the vendor, nya.
Me wait where the human left me, nya. Me know they will give me fish if me does so, miau.
Me look at the fake human and touch them with my paws a few times, meow. There is barely any reaction, nya. It's always like this, nya. What is the point of this fake human being here, nya?
The kind human comes back, nya. "Good job waiting for me." They give me some sardines, nya.
"Thank you, nya!" Me rub my head on their leg before me eat the fish, nya.
The human was frozen in place for a moment, nya. And then, they walked up to the fake human, meow.
The fish store's vendor walked out, nya. "Uhh, why are you staring at Rabuko like that, Arima?"
"She's so beautiful." The kind human sighs, nya.
The vendor looks down at me, nya. They sigh, nya. "Of course it's this cat. Why does something like this always happen when you are around?" The vendor turns to the kind human, nya. "I'm telling you in advance: you can't take her home with you!"
"Then I'll just come here everyday to see her!"
The vendor sighs again, nya.
Me has finished eating my sardines, miau. So me rush away from the fish store, meow.
This day isn't so different from my usual days, nya. But it was still a very fun day, nya!